I can totally relate to the situation in the bar that you described. I am very comfortable talking to women on a one-to-one basis, but as soon as other actors enter the scene I very quickly become confused and start looking for the exits. I think that I am borderline on the Asperger spectrum, and that trait manifests itself in difficulty in sorting out and attending to social situations. Adding sex into the mix tends to exacerbate my problems in that regard. On the one hand, I am that guy who is out on the dance floor before anyone else has the nerve, and on the other I am the guy who disappears to the kitchen during a party and starts doing dishes. Maggie Rogers in “Light On” says “…I couldn’t stop it, tried to figure it out /but everything kept moving and the noise got too loud”, and that is a feeling I can relate to.