Been there, done that! Have you read “The Alchemist” by Paolo Coelho? He writes of omens, some saying “go this way” and others that warn of danger, and it is up to us to interpret and heed or ignore them.
Back in 2006 I had just started dating my last girlfriend. It was a Saturday morning, and I was riding my bike up the Coyote Creek bike trail. We had had our first sex the day before, and her teenage son was going to stay with his grandmother that night. This was going to be our first night together. The anticipation was palpable!
The day was beautiful, the wind was at my back, and I was speeding along, distracted, when there was an abrupt 45 degree turn to the left. I made that turn, but was going way to fast for the immediate 90 degree turn to the right. I hit a curb and was flying through the air. I remember looking down at my landing spot — a depressed area with large boulders set into concrete — and thinking that this was not going to end well.
My next memory is of a woman looking down on me, asking if I was okay. I was on my back, still attached to my bike, and with her assistance I was able to untangle myself and rise.
I took a body inventory and didn’t detect any major problems. There were a couple of dents in my helmet (always wear one, please!! I have broken three in my lifetime), but I didn’t have any concussion symptoms.
I was ready to roll, but my good Samaritan — who had been walking in the adjacent park, had seen me fly through the air and disappear, and came over to investigate when I didn’t surface — had already called paramedics and insisted that I stay for them. I did, they checked my vitals, gave me clearance, and then I got back on my bike and rode 10 miles back home.
As the adrenalin wore off I began to really feel every bump. When I got home and took off my clothes I found that my cycling gear was masking a major contusion on my hip, and more on my side. Later it was determined that I actually had cracked a couple of ribs.
I thought then about canceling my date for that night but didn’t. I was still getting to know her, and one thing that I was pretty sure of was if I didn’t show I would be cut off and that would be the end of our incipient relationship. So, I cleaned myself up, bandaged to the best of my ability, and headed to her place.
As if the universe had not given me enough sign, she displayed absolutely no concern for my injuries. She wanted to be fucked, and fucked more, and then some more. I had to perform, and did so, and ultimately went all in on a relationship that just about did me in.
Hindsight is 20–20, but it really doesn’t do us any good if we don’t start looking at it. That is a process that you are going through big time, and I thank you for sharing that with us.
