At a meeting of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) I remember a speaker talking about the carriers and the loads in life. I happen to be a carrier, and as such I am attractive to loads.

One of the characteristics of a load is the ability to latch on to a new carrier host quickly. Your narcissist ex is a load, and his narcissism gives him additional tools (charm, willingness to lie, an air of confidence) that he can use to quickly move on to the next carrier.

We carriers, on the other hand, get screwed. We tend to stay in relationships long after the point where they have become uncomfortable or even dangerous. When we finally get out we are so emotionally damaged that it takes us years to recover and be ready for a healthy relationship. If we haven’t learned our lesson, then we are once again vulnerable to seduction by a load. Be careful!!